No Longer A Child
by nothingsimple
Summary: Demelza dances, Ross wonders. Set during Jim and Jinny's wedding. A lad seems interested in Demelza and Ross has new, frightening revelations.


Ross rose early that morning, wanting to get some of the farm work done before setting off to church. Demelza had already risen and was pulling a fresh loaf of bread from the stove when he came in for breakfast.

"You remember Jim and Jinny are to be married today?" He muttered between bites.

Demelza nodded and continued cleaning around him. She rarely stopped these days. When he had taken her in he had had a niggling worry that perhaps she'd be lazy, or inattentive to her duties. He realised now he needn't have worried on that account. In fact the opposite was true! He sometimes worried she was overworked, but there was always something to be done and he couldn't seem to stop her from doing it. Furthermore it made him smile to think that perhaps he wasn't the only one who cared for the future of Nampara. However, today would be a nice respite for them both.

She started picking up the broom and heading out from the room. "Demelza wait!" He started.

The girl turned and looked at him wide eyed.

He continued, "I only meant to tell you to meet me by the stable at 10, we shall ride to church together." Her face brightened into a quick smile. He smiled back then stood up quickly leaving the kitchen. He was halfway across the yard when he realised he had forgotten to tell her how delicious that bread had been.

Demelza was waiting for him at ten, looking fresh and bright in her yellow dress and scarlet cloak. He saddled Darkie quickly and pulled her up behind him. He'd abandoned letting her ride in front, she was taller now and her cloak made it a bit difficult. Regardless, he'd felt a bit awkward with his hands around her waist to grab the reigns, it was better this way. Still, he could feel her pressed against his back and arms slithering around his waist only to pull herself closer. He mused for a moment maybe he should get her her own horse. He quickly abandoned the idea, she rarely went to town and if so it was always on an errand with him. Besides he had more pressing things to spend his money on. Furthermore it would be seen as extravagance, a kitchen maid with her own mare would be a rare sight.. People had already talked about the cloak her had bought her he knew. He had to admit it had been a slight act of indulgence. The shop assistant had suggested coarser, duller fabrics, more suited to Demelza's station. Yet he couldn't bring himself to buy them. _Demelza deserved it_ , he thought to himself. Good, hardworking girl that she was. Never complaining, even though he knew of Jud and Prudie's mistreatment of her. So she'd flounced out of the shop in the most luxurious yet still practical cloak money could buy.

The arrived at church to find the place almost full. Jim and Jinny were a kindly pair with many friends, all eager to show their approval of the match. Ross headed up to the front pews to find a spot that had been reserved for him, Demelza stayed back and soon found a seat with a few acquaintances from the Mellin Cottages. Jinny was radiant, with her cracked toothed smiled and rosy cheeks. Jim looked handsome and so very young in the dim lit church. The service was short and soon they were all out in the fresh air, heading to supper, ale and dancing.

Everyone seemed to hold Ross quite completely responsible for the joy of the day and there were many hearty _thank you's_ and _good day sur's_ passed his way. Ross saw Demelza up ahead and noticed her eager smile, she too seemed filled with the joy of the day. He saw a young man, perhaps 18 or 19 trying to catch up with her. He half recognised the fellow, but couldn't be damned with a name. The lad was soon walking beside the girl and seemed to be attempting a conversation. Demelza was all blushes and smiles but seemed to struggling with what to say. Ross watched intently, no longer listening to Zacky Martin chatting beside him. The youth didn't stay long as Demelza didn't seem particularly interested. Ross found himself relieved. He dismissed the reaction as simply due to not knowing the boy's intentions. He knew what he had been thinking when he was nineteen, and somehow the thought of someone thinking about Demelza like _that_ seemed so repulsive. Besides, he didn't want to have to be finding her another cottage for her and whatever man it happened to be if she got herself in a family way. A terrible inconvenience. Suddenly the image of this being Demelza's wedding flashed into his mind and he felt strangely saddened by the thought. Why, then she'd have to go away. Go away and live with some poor miner who might beat her like her father, or perhaps ignore her all together yet impregnate her thirteen times and make her look after all the children while he wasted away on drink. Ross quickly dismissed the vivid picture with disgust. Demelza wouldn't be marrying anytime soon, she was still a child! How old was she exactly? Fifteen? Sixteen? _Surely not Seventeen?_ He decided on Sixteen. That sounded about right. Around the same age as Jinny, he thought. Yes, old enough to marry. The glaringly obvious thought occurred to him again, _she was no longer a child._ The revelation had been staring at him for weeks, in the fit of her dress, in the capability of her work, in the intelligence of her conversation. She had broken from her harsh shell and was day by day growing brighter and stronger. When he had first taken her in he had felt as somewhat of a father figure to her, she had been somewhat feral but twice as scared. Now however he no longer felt the fatherly feeling towards her, yes there was still a slight fondness. However the alternative seemed so forbidden and repulsive to him. _Brotherly!_ He thought to himself. _Yes, it was a brotherly affection._ Dismissing these foolish thoughts he threw himself into conversation with Zacky Martin trying desperately not to watch Demelza anymore.

It was Reverend Odgers who next brought up the subject of Demelza, be it inadvertently. However Ross suspected the Reverend knew exactly what he was implying with his pointed look at Demelza, while reminding him that marriage was a "remedy against sin". Ross didn't appreciate the insinuation and quickly left the discussion.

Ross couldn't help but wonder how this assumption that he and Demelza... _he couldn't even bring himself to think it_..had come to be? There was no affection ever shown between them, except perhaps the occasional smile. She was so much younger than him and up until recently had had the look and behaviour of a child. There was the question of them riding together and of course her cloak, but both of those had come somewhat from necessity. No, perhaps it was a much simpler reason. _She was pretty_. The realisation seemed so strange to him as he watched her dance from across the throng of people. Her red curls were whipping around her face and her cheeks were flushed with delight. Pretty, yes that was it. That was perhaps why people assumed he...

He didn't finish the thought.

The day curled into night with tendrils of smoke and laughter floating into the air. The dancing soon became rowdier and more in earnest as ale made its way up into heads and out through bawdy mouths. Ross had spent most of the afternoon talking to the guests and keeping an eye on Demelza. He wasn't quite sure why he d felt the latter to be a necessary occupation but it had happened all the same. Demelza seemed to be enjoying herself, perhaps a little too much as he saw her being passed another cup of ale, from that lad he'd seen talking to her before. The boy pulled her into dance and she was soon blushing and laughing with him. He watched them warily and soon decided it was time to head home.

Drawing nearer to the circle of dancers to bid Demelza come away he was soon being urged in to join them. He refuted the idea at once but soon found himself jigging in a circle with the rest. He noticed Demelza's attention was on him at once and he smiled back at seeing her blush deepen. They danced for what seemed like an hour and he eventually found himself face to face with the beaming girl. He slipped his arm around her waist and spun her vigorously. She looked up at him with shining eyes and he felt a sudden wave of guilt and _some other_ emotion. The pair's eyes stayed locked together and he suddenly felt himself reddening. _Oh, Lord no._ It wasn't long before he noticed people watching them and ended the dance, bidding her it was time to leave.

Riding home Demelza seemed tired, Ross felt her lean her head against his back, but then quickly sit up straight again.

"Did you enjoy today?" He began, hoping to keep her awake with conversation.

"Oh I did sur!" She perked up.

"I'm glad to hear it. Who was that lad I saw you talking to?" Ross couldn't help his curiosity.

Demelza seemed embarrassed but replied meekly.

"Peter Trewen. 'e be a friend of Jim 's. Works a' Grambler "

"Oh. He seemed friendly" He couldn't help the slight sarcasm in his tone.

"Yes, very" She replied, not noticing his disapproval.

Swallowing hard Ross began.

"If you ever think to marry know that I shall not object, if the match is suitable of course"

"Marry?" She seemed truly shocked.

"Yes Demelza, I'm sure there will be many lad's dying to have you one day". _Well that came out wrong_ , he thought.

"Why should I marry? I already 'ave a home. And I don't think I could fit a husband in my bed. ' tis quite small "

Ross couldn't help but laugh at this. _Yes_ , he thought, _you already have a home._

Ross was silent the rest of the way home and Demelza sung softly. He was content. Today had been one of those rare happy days that he often forgot could exist. However, amongst all this today had been oddly confusing and confronting. He was worried he'd given people s assumptions of him and Demelza more fuel by dancing with her. A part of him thought he should send her back to her father, or to be kitchen maid somewhere else. Perhaps that would stop this idle gossip. However all of him knew he could never let that happen, and with some satisfaction he knew that _she_ would never let that happen. _No_ , he thought, _damn it all to hell, let them talk!_ He knew the truth, cruel gossip would not be enough to punish her for.

As they neared Nampara Garrick came racing out and Demelza leapt off Darkie with a new energy.

She raced with the dog and Ross joined in the game circling Darkie round the laughing girl. They were both barreled over with laughter when they burst back into the house. Ross slamming the door behind him, deliberately waking Judd and Prudie.

His mood darkened upon opening the letter from Trenwith. Yet he heard Demelza humming the tune they had danced to that evening and realised the contentment had stayed. Yes, there was a dark part of him that wished this new born baby was his, yet there was also a hope growing gently inside of him, small but inextinguishable.

Demelza bid him goodnight and he stared at her, fascinated for a moment, before wishing her the same.

 **Hope you enjoyed my little story! Please review xxx**


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